I never thought i’ll ever be like this in my life. Always believed I was strong and independent
I think I love you too much. Subconsciously, loving you more than I love myself. Loving you more than the way I used to love myself.
I guess it won’t be something bad but i think it isn’t right if this feeling isn’t mutual? Been feeling really second/third/fourth in place in your mind and heart, although you say otherwise. And i think i ought to believe you ain’t i?
I’m trying to force myself not to think too much about the upcoming projects of yours but i can’t help but feel really insecure. And this is totally worse when exams are not over to not preoccupy my mind. I keep thinking about the new friends you’ll make, the fun you’ll have, and the amount of effort you’ll put in for it. And I get super restless about it. I didn’t use to worry about such lame insecurities at all. Because I know very well deep down, I was the only person you’ll truly have fun with and be willing to spend every time you have free with me, and that I was the one that lingers in your heart and mind. But I really can’t feel that confidence and security in you anymore. I want that feeling back, where i’ll feel your love and care despite being miles apart, and despite not seeing you for days. I want the confidence and security that i was once filled with. I feel like a motherfucker loser which i used to swear that i’ll never become..
